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You'll Never Know

Updated: Jan 1, 2020

Once, she was sick, really sick. It was an important year for me and she was sick. She would not get up often. I was left all alone. She was the one who was always there for me. But then, I had nobody to talk about all this. I could not share this with anyone. I used to put a smile on my face whenever I met her in the hospital because I knew even one tear in my eyes would break her down even more. But, on the inside, I was all broken. I don't even know how I could manage to smile and not just weep in front of her. But somehow, I did it. I kept all my broken pieces inside and showed what was left intact. I did not show those broken pieces to anyone. I had worn a mask on my face -a mask of a smile. Behind which, there were so many tears that it would drown anybody - anyone whom I would choose to let in and help. I chose nobody and kept it to me. I died every day. I cried alone. I had no shoulder to rest upon and nobody to wipe my tears. And now, by God's grace, she is cured. We often sit together to talk. She says that I did not care about her when she was sick. She says that she never saw a tear in my eye when she was suffering. It is not her mistake. She saw what I showed her. And now, when I listen to her telling me all this, I still manage to smile and say "You'll never know"

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